Hello most beauteous and extraordinary people
WELL
Can YOU BE-LIEVE it but I had laryngitis this week. Yeah. ME without VOICE for two whole days. Add to that four days of hacking up my lungs and general bodily expression. I DID NOT FEEL HUMAN. All in all two weeks of– not so good, pretty bad, BAD BAD BAD, getting less bad, better and nearly good.
NOW outside of the obvious humour in this situation (yeah nothing passes me by) and the metaphoric element of ‘losing/finding’ one’s voice. There are the very practical considerations of illness. Your body is not your body. Your normal ‘take for granted’ aspect of health is placed aside as your lungs remind you “I AM HERE”. We DO have such strange strange strange relationships to our bodies. Functioning as they do, ALL on their own and quite fantastically we are happier to sit and have someone else tell us what is going on AND be ashamed of normal functioning types of things…
In the case of my illness I went the homeopathic route. Which basically means I have been consuming raw garlic for the past week like candies. And it works. Albeit I stink. But IT WORKS. Going homeopathic cultivates a different response to illness. You have dialogue with “The Body Wonderful”, become SUPER sensitive to what it tells you. End up studying the various, ehm, ‘things’ that come out. And in the end, and as I reach towards complete wellness again, I somehow feel empowered by it all. Somehow feel more connected to myself, my inner workings. Am in awe of my biological efficiency.
I suppose in our culture of fix it, patch it, make it new there is something to be gleaned in this. Something in this aspect of listening to the cries within. Of taking time to heal oneself. Of finding empowerment in the journey.
In the midst of my illness Norman Douglas and I were creating the “Bulwark” film (as part of the Dance House Creative Lab). The theme of the piece, modern male identity in old time shipbuilding communities seems particularly resonant with MY journey of that time. I felt particularly empathetic with these men, in not having my voice which is my main tool and having to find ways of communicating who I am in spite of it all.
Perhaps this struggle added to the poignancy of it all. I have to say, the footage is absolutely gorgeous. I cannot believe how well it has turned out. Even now the journey in those few days gives me pause. I feel truly blessed for that.
We filmed in two locations in Glasgow and each filming was witnessed by a group of women. I wanted to explore this notion of the female gaze on the male story. After the filming we interviewed the women, the interviews will be posted on my website soon. I believe you will find them truly intriguing.
The completion of this project is dependent on raising enough finance to complete it. If you are moved by this project I would encourage you to donate to the Bulwark Finishing fund. Every bit does count and it is needed.
On other fronts I am preparing for my exhibition in Newcastle at the Star and Shadow cinema. I will be installing 43(two) for the first time in England, showing the Super8 footage from Threads (premiere!) and the interviews from Bulwark. On the 7th of November I will be giving a chat on my work, and showing clips of other work.
Lastly and to add to the busy-ness of this season I am preparing for my Philadelphia trip. I would love to do a public forum for sharing and discussing my work. At the moment my engagements are in private institutions. If you would like to organize an impromptu showing, please let me know!
Lots of love and health and vitality and joy and grace and abundance to you all
Kate E. 
