July 16th, 2008 Comments Off
NOTES OF AN ITINERANT ARTIST
WEDNESDAY BLOG WITH THE GLASGOW HERALD
FEBRUARY 2008-JULY 2008
From February 2008-July 2008 I travelled from India to Japan and back to Scotland again. This journey was charted in a weekly blog titled “Notes of an Itinerant Artist”. (Click on tag “Writing” or “Notes of an Itinerant Artist” to see samples)
July 15th, 2008 § 0
15 JULY 2008 – BLOG 23
BIRTHING
Six years ago I flew from Rome to San Diego for the birth of my niece. Another ‘on the whim’ decision, I was finishing a performance project and my brother Michael and sister-in-law Re were “Deeming-less” on the West Coast for the birth of their first. So I went. What I remember most about the time before Quinn emerged into the world (in the haze of ten hour jet lag) was the pain and messiness (not my own obviously). As Annemarie trawled about the windowless room to pass the time, occasionally perching on the edge of the gurney for a contraction, life’s membrous translucent juices leaked onto the hospitals sterile tiled floors.
It wasn’t a heavenly experience; it was more like an alien emerging in purgatory.
The fluorescent bulbs cast a green glow on the dull colours of the hospital ‘décor’, a pervasive smell of astringent crawled up your nose and stayed for a visit, the resident soundtrack – a mix of beeping machines charting heartbeats, loudspeaker announcements for Doctor’s, the tap of nurses feet, and swish of wheelchairs played incessantly like a Sartre play.
None of this careful management however could change the base, the ancient, forever process of life emerging as every generation before. One simple act nine months previous had assured the entrance of my niece in all her complexity, the fragile and the strong, the ordinary and the miraculous into the world.
Sometimes I say to my mother, when in the midst of my creative chaos (SLIGHTLY melodramatically I must admit), “MOM. I’m BIRTH-ING”.
Although I would never deign to compare making art (or any growth process) to making babies metaphorically there are considerations to empathize with. I relate very strongly to the description above in the context of developing work.
Namely making things can be messy; emotionally, physically, socially.
And making things can be (and often is) painful.
AND making things in this modern world can seem excruciatingly extra-terrestrial.
Sometimes it is difficult when conceiving something to know where it is going to go. Because of this you are constantly subject to the firing line (not to mention self-judgment).
I am in the midst of two very large creative projects, my first published book, “Body Earth” and developing a new concept for filmmaking which (I hope) ultimately will make the world the better place. That is what I wish my legacy to be.
Oh but Mary Mother of Buddha, it can be exhausting in as much as exhilarating.
You are one person led by hope. Hope that it is not a false pregnancy. That your ideas will have life. For that, you risk all.
The ultimate is that your ‘art’ will emerge and grow into something beautiful, transformative and life-affirmative. But there are no guarantees. Sometimes seeds yields weeds, or attract slugs for that matter. So you continue, changing formulas, trying new things.
In the meantime I am reminded of the potential in all small things as I witness Quinn becoming her own extraordinary and magical person. And for that I give thanks and forge on.
July 8th, 2008 § 0
Herald Blog -8 JULY 2008 –
CAPTURING THE IMAGINATION
The sky crawled around me in a hue of persistent grey as the damp atmosphere attempted entry forcibly in between my layers of gypsy scarves and menagerie of vest. Red wool cap pulled tightly around my ears and the sound of jangling heralds my house keys as I dig around in the abyss of my purse whilst smells of malt tempt my nostrils.
Another summer day in Pollokshields.
They were upon me before I realized it. About ten of them of varied heights and widths. Puberty has not yet made its call to the total – although all under the age of twelve, some are nearly my size. Always traveling about in this pack, in the same way boys have for generations.
“Hey Fair-ie” says the Leader
“Hi boys” I reply
“HEY if you’re a Fairie, FLY”
“Yeah, fly, fly” chime in the rest.
Oh this tickles me tremendously, my shoulders rise and head tilts back as I laugh smiling at them.
“You can’t handle the flying” I retort back Jack Nicolson style.
“Come on Faiii-rriiiee, fly FLY… “ they collectively chant.
“Oh I’ve been flying ALL DAY and I’m so KNACKERED”
“If you’re a Fairie FLY!” and so this game continues for a few minutes until something else captures their attention and they’re off as soon as they had swooped in.
Last year, on a whim, at a neighbourhood cleanup day I dressed up like a Fairie to brighten things up. The weather was awful; rain in parallel, smir so pervasive you could bottle and drink it. To cheer on the dedicated souls who persisted in the community activity I dipped into my costume cupboard and SHE emerged. I had no idea such a simple action would have such an effect. At the end of the day I think we all want to believe in that wee bit of magic.
I captured the imagination of those boys, and it would appear that somehow I still have it.
“Capturing the imagination” it’s a game that is happening all the time. Most of our lives are mechanical. We live the majority of our days physically doing one thing, but mentally preparing, living, or imagining something else. There are an infinite amount of things to imagine. The media of course is the greatest churner of our dreams. I’m in that “business” to.
Incidentally these boys have already been earmarked (at the age of ten) as troublemakers. True enough (I’ve heard) some vandalism has been associated with the group and I have seen some of them smoking behind the bushes in the park. Equally I’ve witnessed them playing a rousing game of hide and seek which encompasses the whole neighbourhood. Conversely the generation after them has already been tagged ‘potential terror suspects’.
Already these stories have been woven around them like delicate spider web becoming sturdier with time until they hang like a noose.
I’m aware of this and weaving to, fast and furious (and yes I do get rather pissed off about these alternate projections) another kind of story – magic, potential, love, adventure – because I am in this weaving business to and determined to capture the imaginations first and strongest.
Well, I AM the Fairie.
July 1st, 2008 § 0
Herald Blog -1 JULY 2008 -
A WISH FOR CREATIVITY
I saw a podcast on www.ted.com by Sir Ken Robinson “Are Schools Killing our Creativity?” I’d like to ask, “Is the Western World Killing Our Creativity?”
I am in the familiar position of looking at an empty bank account. Is this because I haven’t been ‘working’? Well not traditionally. Do I get paid for most? Nope. Yet I am in a constant state of infusing my life and the world with ‘my crafts’. A friend once said to me “well money is not important to you”. The fact is I LOVE money. I love money like chocolate cake. I don’t have this sense of holding onto it. I enjoy my life; I give to charity, aim to be generous.
I was at the Glasgow Film Theatre recently to discuss the community cinemas initiative. This is a great thing. At one time Glasgow had more theatres per capita then anywhere in Europe; we need more common meeting spaces.
What is fascinating is how the GFT (like many) is being challenged to meet funding requirements.
It is what I term ‘victim based’ funding wherein we (community) must articulate what ‘group’ most needs attention – disabled, single mothers, old folks…? Absurd. If we expect to be ‘One Scotland’ -‘One world’ -we must stop labeling. I believe in specialist organizations, like Independance (dance organization for people with disabilities). However if we are looking to create resources for the WHOLE, then ‘tags’ undermine the inherent holism.
The other element missing is ‘excellence’. We talk about access, linking to celebrity events – what about cultivating genius? If we were to offer violin workshops to the community we would not anticipate them to be virtuosos after. There is benefit to the introduction, but its potential will always be limited.
This aspect of supporting vision is difficult. Our funding agencies should fill this gap. Unfortunately the application process often serves as a barrier. Someone said to me, “They (artists) need to understand that is their job”. Is it? I don’t know. I just want to make the work. It is easier for me to sell things on eBay.
There is an arts hierarchy with performance at the base. This has to do with the inherent commodification of the arts. Also recognizing the craft (everyone can sing, dance, tell stories) is difficult at times. And yet in its purity performance is completely selfless. Because performance can’t be owned, it is passed on via the emotion/memory of the witnesses.
A study done years ago found that actors, nuns and librarians are the least likely to have Alzheimer’s disease. I can believe this. There is a spiritual component to being a performing artist. The best actors have an extraordinary capacity to feel compassion for others, which they channel through themselves into their roles.
I choose ‘creativity’ over ‘business’. And because of that I am not exactly sure how I am going to pay my bills this month. The truth is, if I have to sell my house and live on the street I will. I’ll sing and dance all the way. As I feel it, this is what is needed most in the world.