So this is where in the movie of my life (not that I expect there to be a movie of my life, more like the movie of my life in my imagination of course) where is turns all absurdist comedy.
So here I am a Philadelphia, USA gal in Glasgow, Scotland – possibly the ONLY Philadelphia PERSON in Scotland full stop and they decide to shoot Brad Pitt’s latest “World War Z” which is set in Philadelphia.
A casting notice goes out for extras, I assume (being the only native Philadelphian) that I would be a shoe-in. They are looking for individuals who might reflect the cultural diversity of my birthplace with it’s rich Irish/Scots heritage among others. So with a nod to my Grandparents Feeny, Welsh and McLenigan I apply.
And am DENIED.
It’s not that I have any great loss for being turned down for the casting, I’ve done that stuff for years – which although again might add further irony to the situation – is not nearly as ‘annoying’ as being denied the £130 per diem rate of pay that came with it.
Is there a Scottish conspiracy to keep me from earning money?
Here I am selling my underpants on ebay to put food on the table, after months of trying to get work (any work) and I can’t even get a walk-on part for something which I am probably the most qualified to do.
It’s as if I WAS the last person on earth and someone says, ‘actually, no, I’ll take that ROCK’.
In the meantime all my personal possessions are clearing from the shelves via ebay. I have this vision of me standing in the wedding dress from the film 43(two), (which no one seems interested in buying), wandering about the streets of Glasgow like some mad dancing Mrs. Havisham (sans mouldy cake).
Maybe, as discussed in earlier posts as related to earlier dancing, the rumours got back to the casting people that I was that ‘Middle Eastern Olympian hired by the Egyptian Restaurant’, hence my inappropriateness for the film.
To add to the eminent complexity of this moment I’ve been shortlisted to carry the Olympic Torch for the 2012 Olympics, every day more people ask me about the dancing, in all parts of the city, breaking from their ordinary activity to speak to me, I get emails thanking me for my dancing activities, encouraging me to ‘keep dancing’, ‘keep doing what you’re doing’, ‘thank you’…
So life is absurd. Samuel Beckett must have had days like this… these moments the greatest inspiration for art.
And I do wonder in the casting of this ‘zombie flick’, if they looked at my profile and thought
‘there is no way Queen Kate E. Deeming could do living DEAD, she’s too living LIVING’.
And I think they might just be right.
So months from now if you see me dressed in a 1980s wedding gown having a wee groove down at the Broomielaw or where ever, come round say hello, have a boogie.
To hell with the zombies this ‘living living’ gal is going to continue bringing life to spaces, people and mostly… myself.
Last night I had the very good fortune to see three wonderful bits of performance for the Edinburgh Fringe. I use the words ‘good fortune’ quite specifically, as these days with budgetary constraints it’s rare I get to see anything, but very thankfully, two friends had offered me complementary tickets and my life is indeed ‘richer’ for the experience.
The first was an adaptation of Virginia Woolf’s “Orlando”, presented by Theatre Cryptic with Judith Williams in the leading (and only) role. Visually stunning, directed by Cathie Boyd with music by Craig Armstrong the production is a surreal travel through time as the central character seeks fame, fortune and (ultimately) love changing alliance and gender in the process. It begins and ends with the metaphor of an oak tree, an archetypal metaphor of resilience, healing, fulfilment. To plant an oak is to make a commitment for the future, as oaks grow strong, large, and mighty; often outliving humans by hundreds of years.
The second performance I saw was ‘Falling Man’ (in a double bill with ‘Decreasing Infinity) at Dance Base. Inspired by Richard Drew’s series of photographs capturing a man falling from the World Trade Center during the 9/11 attacks performer Tom Pritchard creates an emotive, surreal and utterly compelling piece of dance performance which begs the questions of life. Even the walls fall down upon the individuals in the collapsing building a spiritual imperative drives them to live if even for a few seconds more, by ‘falling’.
As I literally ‘uproot’ myself, 12 years of existence sold, given away and left behind, these two performances serve as a testament to what I am feeling (the power of art, eh?).
Shape shifting for survival is what we do.
It seems the world is faced with an exceptional amount of upheaval now, or so it would seem. But is it really? The premise of my entrance essay to University back in the early 90s was “all tragedy repeats itself”. At the time Aids was a great scary unknown, I likened it to the Bubonic plague. We might see the great controls exerted over ‘terrorism’ to the ones used during the McCarthy era and so it goes.
But there is a difference. It might seem larger than life, as the Somali famine looms, Syria bombs its people, Tottenham London explodes, the American economy collapses, but perhaps it’s just that we KNOW it now in it’s global entirety, because of media, where before we did not.
And I guess then, it begs the questions, what do we do with that information?
Do we decry, shake our fist, and become more secretive, hold back? Or is this information a gift, finally where we can have equal access, worldwide and honestly make a difference, for the first time in history, for the first time to stop history from repeating itself and to have empathy for all people. To bring down the walls that divide. To re-think Patriotism, Nationalism and all other things that creates ‘us versus them’.
In the Cryptic play as Orlando travels across century and land, it is the same human longing we all feel which determines his/her movements. As the individuals tragically fell from the World Trade Centre it is not their “Americanism” we see, but their drive to live.
And so a reminder for us all.
That dance of life, the hovering of cells preparing for the best outcome, biologically… and spiritually.
And so as I go through the extremely painful process of life preservation, uprooting myself from infertile soil, it is in the hope that my ‘falling’ will lead to something better. It doesn’t make it any less scary (I’m terrified), or easy (like moving bricks with a toothpick), or certain (it might all fall apart). I look forward into a shadow, a mist, with hope.
And I know so many are going through the same but as my good friend G. said to me recently, “they’re just not talking about it”.
And so I say to myself and to you, who equally might be facing this struggle, we must continue on, for this pursuit of living, changing our shape, risking everything in hope to be that person who we believe in our core, who will blossom and flourish and season the world for better.
Lots of love and the best of wishes to you
Kate E. xx
SQUIBS
*ORLANDO by Theatre Cryptic is presented 5 – 29 August (excluding Wednesdays) @ 16.00
An extra special thanks for all those who came to share in my last dance on the Broomielaw last Sunday. Benoit has returned to France where he is working on the edit of the footage, with screening happening in November !
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You are currently viewing the archives for August, 2011 at Deeming Dreaming.
So this is where in the movie of my life (not that I expect there to be a movie of my life, more like the movie of my life in my imagination of course) where is turns all absurdist comedy.
A casting notice goes out for extras, I assume (being the only native Philadelphian) that I would be a shoe-in. They are looking for individuals who might reflect the cultural diversity of my birthplace with it’s rich Irish/Scots heritage among others. So with a nod to my Grandparents Feeny, Welsh and McLenigan I apply. 
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